SAD SOULMATE AU

[crimeson]

[So hey, Kaine is being released from prison! But first he's gotta meet his parole officer. Of course, Kaine is in a pretty high security class, so they probably assigned him some hardass who'd shove him back in prison at the drop of a hat...

But when he's brought to the meeting room, the door opens on a handsome redhead balancing his chair on two legs, hands folded behind his head. He's in uniform for now, looks pretty nice all buttoned up, but his vibes are still so casual when he brings the chair back down on all four legs and raises a hand in a wave.]

Heya!

Comments

[markofkaine]

I don't do computers.

[crimeson]

You're gonna have to.

[markofkaine]

Why?

[Not EVERYTHING's on computer these days, is it...]

[crimeson]

Pretty much everything is online these days. You'll have trouble finding a job without lookin' online.

[markofkaine]

That sounds like exactly the kind of thing where I'd need a-- social security number or something.

[crimeson]

Hooboy. Okay. When I get home we can start workin' on that.

[markofkaine]

Wouldn't it be easier to just sniff around places that hire illegal immigrants?

[NO PAPERWORK NECESSARY!]

[crimeson]

...Yeah but you won't like. Have rights.

[markofkaine]

[Stares at him like

ok?

what else is new]

[crimeson]

...It would be nice if you did.

[markofkaine]

Beggars can't be choosers.

[crimeson]

Fuck. I guess.

[markofkaine]

And if they mess with me, I could always threaten to kill them.

[an good plan]

[crimeson]

Nope. No threats.

[markofkaine]

It's not illegal to threaten someone??

[YES IT IS, KAINE]

[crimeson]

It is!!!

[markofkaine]

Huh.

[crimeson]

Well. Now you know.

[markofkaine]

And what if they're up to shady shit with people who can't lift a truck over their head?

[can i PLEASE beat them up]

[crimeson]

Then bring up your roomie's a cop.

[markofkaine]

[grunts,]

Fine.

[crimeson]

But maybe not in front of your coworkers. Don't wanna spook 'em.

[markofkaine]

Yeah, yeah. Get your ass to work already, "cop".

[crimeson]

Shit, right.

[scurries off to his room to get properly dressed, oh lord the man likes orange.]

Heading out!

[markofkaine]

Why is everything orange.......

[He stares for a second before remembering that generally, people are expected to say something back.]

Bye.