SAD SOULMATE AU

[crimeson]

[So hey, Kaine is being released from prison! But first he's gotta meet his parole officer. Of course, Kaine is in a pretty high security class, so they probably assigned him some hardass who'd shove him back in prison at the drop of a hat...

But when he's brought to the meeting room, the door opens on a handsome redhead balancing his chair on two legs, hands folded behind his head. He's in uniform for now, looks pretty nice all buttoned up, but his vibes are still so casual when he brings the chair back down on all four legs and raises a hand in a wave.]

Heya!

Comments

[markofkaine]

[grunts,]

Fine.

[crimeson]

But maybe not in front of your coworkers. Don't wanna spook 'em.

[markofkaine]

Yeah, yeah. Get your ass to work already, "cop".

[crimeson]

Shit, right.

[scurries off to his room to get properly dressed, oh lord the man likes orange.]

Heading out!

[markofkaine]

Why is everything orange.......

[He stares for a second before remembering that generally, people are expected to say something back.]

Bye.

[crimeson]

[cute

WHAT DO YOU DO WHILE RANDY IS AT WORK!!!

unless we wanna do a bigger timeskip. options.]

[markofkaine]

[He's gonna scrounge up a job at a shipping dock, because hey

super strength

they're not gonna ask questions.

AN WEEK LATER I GUESS IT'S TIME TO "REPORT" TO HIS PAROLE OFFICER?]

[crimeson]

[lalala i don't know how parole officership works but Randy is flopped out on the couch with paperwork when Kaine comes home one day.]

[markofkaine]

[No one does.

Kaine is still wearing those schlubby clothes he stole out a donation bin (THEY WERE DONATED, IT'S NOT REAL STEALING), but literally no one on the docks cares. And he's grown out his stubble already, completing the homeless chic look.

He comes back early, and shoots a glance at all those papers]

...Those my files?

[crimeson]

Mmhmm.

[just sort of drops them onto his stomach and whines]

Tryin' to work out what levels of bullshit to employ.

[markofkaine]

You mean like how my current address is suspiciously close to yours, if anyone ever cross checked?

Yeah, shocking.

[He's going to the fridge to get cold water]

[crimeson]

Nah, I've already set up a dummy situation there with mail forwarding. For me, for the record. Anyone comes acknockin', this place is yours.

[tips his head so he's looking at him upside down]

It's more, mmm, timing? And suspicious good luck on paper.

[markofkaine]

[Raises... brow...]

What do you mean.

[crimeson]

People are invested in you being fucked over, dude. They won't be thrilled you're fine actually, and not starvin' on the streets.

[markofkaine]

[Grunts,]

I wouldn't be starving either way, I'd be stealing it.

They'd have better luck trying to pin a revenge conspiracy on me.

[crimeson]

Cool, well, Imma have to fudge lease dates probably.

How was work?

[markofkaine]

I lifted heavy containers and then I put'em down.

[crimeson]

[drops the paperwork on the floor and rolls onto his belly to chinhands]

Bet you're makin' their lives easier, big strong man like you.

[markofkaine]

Actually, they hate my guts. I could put them outta work if I'm too efficient.

[ --flirting-->



His head]

[crimeson]

Then take it a lil easy.

[markofkaine]

It's not exactly riveting, sitting on my hands all day.

Pay sucks too.

[crimeson]

Mmph.

[puts his face down on the couch.

do not i-told-you-so the man.]

[markofkaine]

[rolls eyes,]

I can hear you thinking it.

[crimeson]

[muffled whine]

I'm being goooood...

[markofkaine]

[Huffs]

I'd probably get a raise if I did take over all their jobs. But...

[His conscience though]